my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
