she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
