All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
