would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
