then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You're a waste of cheezeits
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
