so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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