Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize