Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
