I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I have fence marks all over my body
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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