lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
