I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
