I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
