Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize