My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just want nice things and good sex
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
