so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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