Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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