my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
