did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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