i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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