the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
