if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
