we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Randomize
