Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
