oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
