Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
