he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
