The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
So much rum. So many feels.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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