And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
