i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
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i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
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He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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