That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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