you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
