Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize