I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
