i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
