Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Sorry about my life...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
