I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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