I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
