saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
only you would photoshop your dick
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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