they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
