Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
