Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
