We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
