Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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