Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
