Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you will always have a special place in my vag
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
