I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
