I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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