By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
