Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I want you more than these girls want KFC
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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