like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
