Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
third nipple confirmed
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
