lets start a swedish sibling band together
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
