Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
