why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
