I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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