Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
