I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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