are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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