I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
