saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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